Gourmet cooking in camp

Last weekend we took a break from the world and had a little camp trip on the South Fork of the Trinity River. There's nothing better then a meal cooked and eaten outside, and we went gourmet most of the way.

The first night we had one of our camping standards. Spaghetti with veggies, kielbasa, herbs and parmesan cheese. Always a winner, and the girls loved it!

The curly kale came from our garden.
The second night we went Vietnamese. We had dried oysters, shitakes, cloud ears, rice noodles, beef broth, veggies, special Asian tea bags with a combination of pho' spices, and more kielbasa.


All cooked on our 20 year old handy dandy Coleman cook stove.

The last night we took it easy after a hike and swimming in the river and had hotdogs. Being the condiment queen, I was sure to have mustard, relish, saurkraut, and even ketchup to top those doggies. We did have one evening with smores, which mostly involved flaming marshmallows and lots of giggles. And one morning we went fancy for breakfast and had chorizo and eggs. Obviously I didn't lose any weight on this mini vacation, but I definitely enjoyed my meals!

Texas Chili Cook Off

This internet joke always seems to float around right about the time Fortuna has their chili cook off. It's absolutely hilarious. I see it every year, but I still laugh until I'm crying every time I read it. I decided I'd post it for everyone's entertainment. If you need a good laugh, read on....

Texas Chili Cook-Off

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas .. Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park ...

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL ... Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.'

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the heck is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.



CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I think I'm getting drunk from all the beer.


CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, is standing behind me with fresh refills.


CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.


CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.


CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment.
**I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence..

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

Fortuna Rodeo Chili Cookoff

Yesterday was the kick off of Fortuna's Rodeo Week, starting with the Chili Cook Off. This is a fun event that's growing in popularity. I sampled some excellent chili, and have to say, "where did they get the judges from?" Because they obviously didn't know good chili. That aside, it's a free event, and there's lots of good chili, fun times, and the band (Boomsauii) was awesome!. I've cooked in this event in the past with my best friend sponsored by the radio station she works for. (Bicoastal Media's country western station Big Red). We won hottest chili two years in a row, and lost the 3rd year to a group serving up something tasting similar to battery acid. There were a lot of complaints that year, so now everyone has toned the heat way down out of fear of the angry capiscum fearing mobs. I have to say that's a sad thing. To me, part of the joy of eating a good chili is the endorphin buzz you get from just the right amount of heat. For me that requires a bit of hurt. So, I'm hoping to try this event out again next year. That gives me a whole year to perfect my recipe, and work on my best friend to get us in the event again. They had some pretty good chili at the 100.3 The Point radio station booth, and they won hottest (I'm not sure why, my 10 year old could eat their chili, it was no where near as hot as Dirty Dan's chili) they're the ones I hope to beat next year. A friendly competition, and I will be bringing on the capiscum, so bring on your pitchforks angry mob.

If you want to know more about the chili cook off and the Fortuna Rodeo, check it out here:
http://fortunarodeo.com/Events/chilicookoff.htm

Do You Use Specialty Salts in the Kitchen?

Do You Use Specialty Salts in the Kitchen?

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Stuck on Spatulas Food + Cooking: Gourmet.com

Stuck on Spatulas Food + Cooking: Gourmet.com

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A Hundred and One Uses For Salt

A good friend of mine from work gave me this awesome little book. It was published in 1914 by the Diamond Crystal Salt Co. of St. Clair Michigan. It has a nice little forward by a woman named Martha Elizabeth Stuart on the essentials of salt. My favorite part is her quote from her "old Aunt Samanthy". "If you forgits that little pinch of salt afore you boils your 'taters they never do taste right - no matter how much you salts 'em arterwards."

I remember my mom saying something very similar when I was a child, only with less of a southern drawl.

This book has the same appeal to me as MFK Fisher's book How To Cook A Wolf in that it has money saving tips and strategies in tough times. There are things in this little booklet that we all take for granted today, things like refrigeration. ("use number 38. To Keep Butter Hard: Butter may be kept hard without ice by setting the dish in which it is contained in cold salt water. Do not allow the water to come above top of dish. Keep butter covered with cold damp cloth. " ) In this time of environmental concern, the numerous laundry uses of salt are spectacular. Did you know that you can remove insects from your garden vegetables with salt water? You can clean sinks and drains with salt, prevent moths, and put out a fire. You can remove tea stains, wine stains, and polish your copper. You can sooth soar throats and take soothing baths in the stuff. You can kill weeds and bugs in your garden and and relieve colic in horses of all things. Who knew sodium chloride was such and amazing element?

In spite of all the negative publicity salt gets, I LOVE the stuff, and this little booklet is a neat little treasure. I especially like the write up at the end of the the little book promoting "Shaker Table Salt - the Salt that flows"

"For your table, then, you want a salt that does not lump or 'stick' in the shakers when your family or guests want it to come out." They recommend first thah your grocer only sends you Shaker Table Salt made by Diamond Crystal Salt Company, and second, on very damp days, keep you salt shakers, between meals, in the warming oven (remember this is 1914, odds are the stove is wood fired) or under an upturned glass or tumbler.

The final paragraph:
"Truly Shaker Salt is the dainty salt for dainty folks, as well as the pleasant salt for pleasant folks. Your husband, or your guest, has no need to rap and pound for salt when Shaker Salt is Used.

Its price, except in the far West, is 10c a box. Good grocers everywhere sell it. Diamond Crystal Cooking Salt - brings out the flavor

Pass the salt please.

Chinese Kale - Early havest meal

Back in August of 2008 I posted about our trip to Oakland's Chinatown. While we were there I picked up a few seed packets in one of the many awesome grocery stores there. One of those packets was Chinese Kale, also known as Chinese broccoli. The same kind of broccoli we were served at Restaurant Peony in Oakland along with our delicious chicken that still had the head attached. Later I posted about my Chinese Kale starts on my Ignorant Gardener Blog and how I was having great success starting them in my milk jug greenhouses. Again, just a little over a week ago I wrote on my Ignorant Gardener blog about how those starts have grown into a fantastic patch of vegetables to be eaten. Well, tonight we got that pleasure, thanks to my husband harvesting, washing, preparing, and cooking that beautiful kale. We rarely have such an abundant harvest of anything but radishes this time of year, so this is particularly exciting for us.

We focused our meal around the Chinese Kale/Broccoli. I found a recipe in my cook book The Wisdom of the Chinese Kitchen by Grace Young. (I'll post the recipe at the end with my husbands modifications) and threw together some Chinese fried rice. One of the best ways to use up leftovers and odds and ends from your fridge.

The fried rice consisted of 4 cups of cooked long grain rice, two scrambled eggs, cooked, sliced and set aside, a mixed frozen package of seafood, a tsp of fresh ginger, 1/3 cup onion, about a cup of mixed frozen "stir fry" veggies and two tbsp of soy sauce. First my husband fried the onion and ginger in about 3 tbsp of olive oil/sesame oil. He added the frozen mixed seafood and then the frozen stir fry veggies. Last he added the rice. Then he stirred in the cooked eggs and the soy sauce and mixed it all up. This ended up being some excellent comfort food.

Then he cleaned the kale, chopped the stems up and set the leaves aside, and he cooked it, for the most part according to this recipe:

Stir-Fried Chinese Broccoli and Chinese Bacon (in our case, salt pork)

10 stalks Chinese broccoli/kale (gai lan) about 12 oz

3 oz Chinese Bacon (lop yak) - we used about a 1/4 of some salt pork that chopped up in bits.

1 (we used a bit more) tsp soy sauce

1 tsp Shao Hsing rice cooking wine ( we used Mirin)

1/2 tsp sugar

2 tsp vegetable oil

2 garlic cloes, smashed and peeled

John washed the kale and trimmed it. The thicker stalks (more then 1/2 inch in diameter) he peeled with a veggie peeler and halved lengthwise. All (including leaves) were cut into 2 inch pieces and the stalks were kept separate from the leaves and buds.

John then combined the soy sauce, rice wine and sugar and set aside.

He heated the wok over high heat and added the oil and garlic and stir fried for about 15 seconds. He added the salt pork and cooked until done. Next he added the stalks and cooked for 3 or 4 minutes, and finally he added the leaves and cooked until limp. Then he added in the soy sauce mixture and cooked a couple more minutes. We served this up immediately with the fried rice. A quick and simple (simply delicious) dinner. Our kids happily devoured their meals.

Here's what it all looked like:
The Kale stems:
The fried rice:
John, adding in the Kale leaves:
My beautiful and delicious serving:
My youngest's serving (she wanted her dinner posted on Mom's blog - and she ate it all!)
I quick and economical meal. I love how the Chinese cook. Little to no waste, and I love being able to eat fresh Chinese veggies from my own garden. That trip to Oakland Chinatown keeps paying off.
Happy dining!